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Modelers Lounge => How's it going? => Topic started by: James on April 16, 2020, 02:12:06 AM
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As some of you know my wife Christy has been in and out of hospitals, acute care, skilled nursing, and rehab Since December 9, 2018. She had a triple bypass December 18, 2018. She has only been home January 5-15, 2019, July 26-September 11, 2019, and then April 11-13, 2020. This new stuff started Monday when she fell early Monday evening.
Christy came home from rehab Saturday. A little while ago, Christy got up off the side of the bed and with her walker, was going to walk to the bathroom. I was on the other side of the bed and didn't know until I heard your yell "I'm falling". She was on her left side on the floor, couldn't move her leg and was in practically in tears as she said her hip hurt bad. EMS came and took her to the hospital, main Methodist, and with the Corona virus, I can't go to the hospital, so they will let me know later from hospital of what all is happening. Well, Christy fractured her hip and is going to need surgery. Not sure when yet, as they have to clear her heart medically, that it will be okay for surgery which I'm sure won;t be a problem.
Yesterday - She is at Methodist in the medical center. She woke me up a little after 5:00am this morning and was super chatty.She was on dilauded so wasn't in much pain. She said they were gonna have to surgery on her fractured hip, but didn't know when as she had to be cleared medically - heart - like they did when she had the debriedments and the skin grafts on her chest. She must've called about 5 or 6 times this morning between 5:00 and around 7:30 and the ;last time she was like you haven't left yet, I want my phone. Took her her phone and other things she needed around 8:15 or so this morning and after about 10 minutes a nurse came down and I gave her Christy's cell and other things in a bag along with the form I had to fill out listing her belongings I brought her, her name and room number. The nurse was taking up to her when I left and I called her when I got back home like she asked me to and no answer. I figured she was either sleeping, seeing doctor/doctors, or out for x-rays or whatever. Tried calling a few more times later, no answer. Then the ICU doctor called around 1:30 and told me what had happened and that she was code blue -cardiac arrest - and they did CPR and that now she was in ICU and intubated.
Talked to ICU nurse last night and this morning, today, Christy is on a breathing tube/intubated still and they are chilling her , Hypothermia Protocol is what they call it, for 72 hours as that will stop any damage from occurring now and slows evrything down to help the body heal. They did a CT scan of her brain yesterday, but since she's chilled you can't really tell. They found her around 8:30ish yesterday morning unresponsive so they don't know how long her brain may have been without oxygen. When they warm her, they will do another CT scan of her brain and see if there is any damage, etc.
Haven't done any modeling since and I hope I'm not a burden for posting this, but I feel like we are all family here on this wonderful forum that Des created and now Dave taking over, I'm sure he's making Des proud.
Hope everyone is healthy and safe,
James
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Oh bloody hell, James, that's terrible!
Richard
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Oh bloody hell, James, that's terrible!
Richard
Terrible is an understatement. I'm numb, in shock and disbelief. At a loss for words..
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Our well wishes and prayers are with your wife and you.
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Thank you so much, Juan..
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When do you next get an idea of how she is?
Richard
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When do you next get an idea of how she is?
Richard
I'll call later this afternoon, then again this evening. Since she is on hypothermia protocol and intubated, she will be sedated the whole time. She's stable, so that's good. They are giving her pain medicine for her fractured hip.
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Who is supporting you, James? You should really be with someone
Richard
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I do have our cat Tubby and dog Honeysuckle. They are our four-legged kids, our only kids. I do have my mom, and Christy's two sisters, a couple friends of ours that come by, but that;s about it.
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Are they aware of what's happened? The people, not the cat or dog, they'll be supporting in their own way.
Richard
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Oh yeah, that's why they are coming by in the last few days to make sure I'm okay, eating, taking care of myself, etc. Just hanging in there doing the best I can.
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That's good to hear. Someone is keeping an eye on you
From your first post, you are not a burden. There's precious little any of us here can do, except hear what you need to say. So we will do that
Richard
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My thoughts are with you and your wife. I wish you all the best.
Stay safe and strong for her.
Andreas
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So sorry to hear this new, James.
Bloody awful.
I will keep you both in my thoughts.
Do take care.
Bob
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James,
What awful news, I always feel so helpless in the face of these things. Stay safe and don't be alone; be strong for your Wife, she'll need you to lean on when this is behind her. Keep connected with us here and you and Christy will be in our thoughts.
Lance
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Thanks for all the well wishes, it means a lot to me. Thank you.
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James
What a terrible situation and I send all the very best wishes possible to your wife and yourself. We are thinking of Christy and you and I hope the forum members support can offer some comfort during this terrible ordeal.
Kindest regards
Dave Wilson
Gold Coast
Australia
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James ,
I'm very sadden to hear this , not good news at all . I send my thoughts and prayers to you and family . Need to talk , feel free ..we'll listen .
Terri
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Hello James,
I wish your wife all the best and a quick and complete recovery. You are not a burden to any of us and it is a honour for us to let us join your thoughts and fears like good friends should do.
Bye,
Manni
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Hi James - a tough time and I really hope things work out for Christy and yourself. Take care and we’re here for you across the globe. Take care. Best wishes Matt
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James, you and Christy are in my prayers today. Take care.
Bob
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A HUGE thank you to everyone, it's very much appreciated. Here's the latest. They did dialysis yesterday afternoon and the nurse told me last night her lab work looked good for her kidneys, staying the same and not worse. They are slowly going to warm her today while maintaining her temperature.
Talked to nurse a little while ago, her blood pressure dropped twice, but they gave her medicine to raise, she has issues with her blood pressure dropping, so that's normal. They are going to do a CT scan of her head/brain and have a neurologist consult
Thank you to everyone again,
James
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OK, she sounds stable. That's good news James
If you are finding it helpful, please keep posting reports
Richard
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Thank you so much Richard, that means a lot. She does seem to be stable and hopefully the CT results are good.
Thanks, it does help me quite a lot posting update reports here as it keeps me sane for a bit and takes my mind off things. We are all like family here and for that I am most grateful. Everyone here is so supportive of everyone here and that is so nice, especially with everything going on in the world right now.
James
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You may not hear from me a bit...
ICU doctor called in a little while ago, they warmed her, no response doctor said that we more than likely lost her. I can't believe she's gone,,,She was the love of my life....
James
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I'm heartbroken for you, James. I can't imagine the anguish you are experiencing. My deepest condolences and prayers are with you.
Bud
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Thank you so much, Bud
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James,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, please know that I feel your pain as I suffered through the same situation when I was 42, it's a tough ride. Be strong, dwell on the good times, and trust me, time will heal although it takes a lot of it.Feel free to contact me by PM if you need to talk to someone at any time, and I know I speak for all of us in saying you have a lot of friends and support here if you need it.
God Bless.
Lance
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I'm so very sorry to hear this. As Lance said stay strong and concentrate on all the good times. My heart goes out to you. :'(
James
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My deepest condolences for your loss, James. I am so sorry for you and I hope time could carry you over this. You are not alone.
Andreas
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James
I am so terribly sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved wife. My deepest condolences to you and please know that your many friends here on the Forum are here at any time to offer friendship and support for the tough times ahead. If there's anything we can do to ease your burden, please let us know. Everyone stands ready to support you.
Deepest condolences
Dave Wilson
Gold Coast
Australia
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My deepest condolences, James. I can't imagine how you feel right now, but I think Christy would be happy to see you carry on with your life and passions.
Yours, Manni
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Condolences James, I'm not good with words but will be praying for you. Be strong in Her memory.
Hugs, Giuseppe.
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So sorry to hear of your loss- my thoughts are with you at this very sad time. Matt
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I'm not sure how to respond James, I can only say we are still here when you need to talk
Richard
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We are weeping with you James. May God comfort you in this time of loss.
Bob
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Thank so everyone for the kind words. I'm numb, dazed, disbelief, etc. Been crying my eyes out. I can't believe she's gone.
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James, we are all here to support you in whichever way helps.
Please be assured you have a global hobby community sympathising with your grief.
Kindest regards
Dave Wilson
Gold Coast
Australia
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My heart goes out to you, James.
So sorry to hear this news.
vB
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Thank you Dave and Bob.I'm still numb and in shock.
James
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Just to say I am thinking of you too - my deepest, heartfelt sympathy. Regards, Marc.
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Sorry to hear that
condolences
may she RIP
er me
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Thank you Dave and Bob.I'm still numb and in shock.
James
Very understandable, I cannot imagine what you are going through
How long were you together?
Richard
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I'm so sorry to hear that terrible news James. My deepest condolences to you and the family, you're in my thoughts.
Ian
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Thank you Dave and Bob.I'm still numb and in shock.
James
Very understandable, I cannot imagine what you are going through
How long were you together?
Richard
We were together 22 1/2 years. This September 6 would have been 23 years. About sometime this past January I told her "when you get home and you are all better, will you marry me again"? Christy was like, "I was thinking the same thing except getting re-married on our 25th anniversary". I was like that would be cool, two years and we'll renew our vows again.
I just want to thank everyone here as it has helped me so much just being able to talk about it and has helped a lot, though I'm still hurting a lot.
James
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My deepest condolences to you, James. I lost my wife of 38 years in 2015. Nobody who has not lost a spouse can imagine just how horrible that is. Please remember that things will get better. Keep trying to look forward as well as remembering the past. Even though you may think you'll never be happy again, you will be. Just take it one day at a time.
With heartfelt sympathy,
Peter
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Thank you Peter, your words are comforting. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, but right now it's still hard, especially in the mornings. I actually got some sleep last night.
James
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I remember those sleepless nights :(. If you'd like to talk, or more accurately type, please feel free to email or PM me via my profile. I haven't got any great words of wisdom, just painful experience that might help you cope.
Peter
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Thank you.
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James,
My sincerest condolences. As other's have said, take it one day at a time. Things will get better. Your modeling brothers and sisters are here for you.
Mike
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How are things going James? You must be in the thick of practical and unpleasant stuff at the moment
Richard
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Hi Richard, yeah, kinda just getting started on some of that stuff. I had no freaking idea that funerals can be so EXPENSIVE! Nobody wanted me to wipe out our bank account as they all said that "Christy would kill me", and they are right. So, we are going the cremation route, way cheaper. Never thought about cremation, as I'm Jewish and we don't believe in cremation, but I'm neither practicing nor observant, so I'm good with it. Got Christy a purple urn, as purple was her favorite color, and three lines of engraving, see below. Also it will have a Star of David on it, ironic.
Line 1 - Christy Diane Sontag
Line 2 - November 24, 1971 - April 26, 2020
Line 3 - Chelsea, Tubby, and Honeysuckle's Mama
I'm doing okay, still numb, etc. and I miss her like crazy, but I'm taking it one day at a time.
Richard, that was really, really kind of you checking in. I appreciate that so much. That's what makes this forum the greatest, friendliest, and best ANYWHERE.
James
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I have just worked out Christy's age - and it is no age at all!
I have no experience of what you are going through apart from one parent and two in-laws. All were of a good age and their deaths were not unexpected.
From other life events I have learned that one day at a time is really the best way
Richard
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That's too funny, the age thing. She was 48, much too young. I turned 53 this past January and I would always say I was five years older. Christy was always like "no, you're only four years and 10 months older.
It is not a pleasant experience losing a spouse, but I would think it would almost be like losing a child, maybe? We had no kids, we only had/have the four-legged kind, our cat Tubby, and our dog Honeysuckle. Chelsea was our first dog and she passed away in 2010, and we got Honeysuckle in 2010 after Chelsea.
James
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Quite honestly James, I'm moved to tears. I have no way of understanding what you are going through
Please, please keep letting us know how it is going. There will be people here who have been through similar experiences (not the same - never the same) who may be able to offer words of advice
Richard
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Thank you Richard, i surely will as your are so kind, sir.
We are going to have a little memorial celebration at her sister's house this coming Saturday, May .
Thanks so much,
James
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Still thinking of you, I wish you all the strength you need to get through that.
All the best,
Andreas
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Thank you kindly, Andreas. It helps posting on here as it helps me get my feelings out, if that makes sense.
James
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Thank you kindly, Andreas. It helps posting on here as it helps me get my feelings out, if that makes sense.
James
It makes perfect sense. There's something about putting what is in your head into a different form that is incredibly useful. Writing it down or saying out loud - it all helps. Knowing there is someone to hear what you say also makes a difference
Richard
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Hello James
Thank you so much for sharing your mourning with us. I hope the messages of support from around the world help you in some small way.
The urn you have selected for your wife in her favourite colour is a loving touch.
Every day right now will be an ordeal but in time you will adjust and heal. While your wife has passed on, the memories you have of her will never fade and will give you strength in the years to come. My brother died in 1961 when I was aged 11, and I still think of him every day 59 years later. In that regard he is always with me.
Be assured your friends on the Forum are here to support and encourage you.
Kind regards
Dave W
Gold Coast
Australia