forum.ww1aircraftmodels.com
Modelers Lounge => Time to relax => Topic started by: stefanbuss on March 02, 2017, 03:32:55 PM
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Dear friends,
as some of you know, my beloved wife, Ulrike, is rather ill. She broke her back, sometimes before 2012, suffering terrible pain from then on. In 2012 she received her first set of an artificial spine, which had to be replaced in 2015. Her standard joke is I wouldn't bury her properly but put her into a scrapyard due to the amount of titanium she carries around... She can now walk around using a walking frame on very good days, but on "standard days" she has to use an electric wheel chair.
Anyways, with all that metal around her spine there was much need for care, but not much time for me and my modelling, and it became even less during the last months. I was not very much active on this here forum, despite the fact that I think this to be my virtual home.
The actual diagnosis is that she needs an artificial hip joint (as if she didn't have her fair share of surgeries, already), which means that in the next few years my modelling time will effectively be NIL.
The end of my hobby? Future is bleak, to put it mildly. No chance for any kind of Ulrike's improvement, it seems, as she cannot do without all those artificial parts and all that follows (doctor' appointments, being fully handicapped and so on). I am not overly happy.
As everyone else I have a pile of kits "to be build", but this was already smallish. I took the decision that it would be of no use to keep it. I could hoard those WNW kits (of course), aiming to selling them on ebay during the next years, as so many other people do. But that's not my way.
Instead, if Des doesn't mind, i will be offering them during the next days here. As most kits are still in production (Pfalz D.IIIa, W.12, early Snipe), i won't ask for high prices - my aim instead is to make you, my modelling companions, a bit more happy.
But I will offer the very last kit of the very first duellist set, as well, with some extras included, which might make things interisting for some of you.
Shipment in all cases will be from Germany, with DHL.
Stay tuned.
Stefan
edit: First offer is up here: http://forum.ww1aircraftmodels.com/index.php?topic=8240.0 (http://forum.ww1aircraftmodels.com/index.php?topic=8240.0)
edit: second offer added here: http://forum.ww1aircraftmodels.com/index.php?topic=8242.0 (http://forum.ww1aircraftmodels.com/index.php?topic=8242.0)
edit: Duellist kit added here: http://forum.ww1aircraftmodels.com/index.php?topic=8241.0 (http://forum.ww1aircraftmodels.com/index.php?topic=8241.0)
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Your post is so sad Stefan :'(
My heart goes out to you and Ulrike for the burden you share. I hope there will be some nice times for you to enjoy together in the future.
Kia Kaha (be strong!)
James
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yeah, Stefan....
hard times .... I hope all will settle for the best. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your dear wife.
take care
edo
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This is a really bad prognosis, I am very sorry to hear. I wish both of you all the best and the energy that is needed to go through this. Being younger than you I hope you don't mind if I'd like to tell you one of my thoughts anyway: You can only be a help for your wife when you keep your strenght and remain what you are. And everyone of us is human, so everyone needs his/her break, a time to relax, however short it may be. If you are 24/7 a helper for someone else you won't be that for a long time until you become a nursing case as well. So maybe rethink clearing your shelf? Even if modelling time is reduced to e. g. one hour a month it might give you back something crucial you need to stay what you are and to be able to help your wife the way she needs it.
Best wishes
Borsos
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Stefan, that's all to sad! Alles Gute to Ulrike and you, though! Please stay with us here on the forum.
Richard
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I am so saddened to hear your news Stefan, my thoughts and best wishes go out to your wife and to you, you both need the strength to get through this hard time together. Even though you feel your modeling time is over I would still love to see you pop into the forum every now and then just to say hello and to keep us informed on the progress of your wife.
Des.
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I am sorry to read that post of yours, Stefan. I wish you two all the strength necessary to face your problems. And never give up hope.
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Stephan, my heart felt feelings and sincere sympathy for you and your wife's sad situation.
From what you describe your days ahead will not improve but I truly hope they are as bearable as possible for both of you. As Borsos alludes to however do try to find some time, no matter how small, for yourself.
My thoughts are with you.
Kindest regards - Tug
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That's sad to hear Stefan,
I wish you both the very best.
Regards
Guy
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I am sorry to hear what your wife and you are going through. Our prayers and thoughts go with you both. Stay strong.
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Stefan,
I can understand your situation & your feelings to interests & hobbies as I juggle a full time job with a role as carer for a parent. Even with extra help coming in during the day to allow me to go out to work I have very little time for modelling or my other interests. Although at the moment I’m very bad at taking my own advice I’ve got to say that for both your wife’s sake & your own, reserve some small part of your life for yourself & your interests – in the long run you’ll discover it’s importance will become even more pronounced.
Regards
Russell
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Stefan,
So sad to hear about what life has dealt your good wife Ulrike and yourself. Though nowhere near as challenging I can sympathise, my own wife was diagnosed with early onset Parkinsons disease a few years back and that has caused us many challenges and heartache.
I wish you every strength to stand together and though I seldom post on the forum any more would like to echo Des's wish that you keep popping in.
thoughts with you... Keith
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Brother-
You're a wonderful husband who has his priorities in the right perspective. Prayers ascending for your wife and you! Blessing on the both of you.
Glenn
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Stefan,
My thoughts are with you both.
So sad to hear this.
Take care.
vB
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Stefan,
It is indeed so sad to hear this; it's difficult to find words. I wish you both strength and our thoughts and prayers will now include you both. I support what Russell has just said, (and Borsos as well) and they said it so well: "reserve some small part of your life for yourself & your interests – in the long run you’ll discover it’s importance will become even more pronounced."
Take care of you both, my Friend.
Lance
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Oh Stefan, my thoughts, and those of my wife Ena, are so much with you and Ulrika. Whether or not you continue with the building side of our hobby, you will always have so many friends here.
Best wishes
Nigel
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So sorry to hear the news of your wife's condition, Stefan. I wish you both all the very best. I would echo the comments of others in that it may be wise to keep your hobby "dormant" rather than sell everything. Not because you have to have time for yourself, but because sometimes you may need to... everyone needs time to relax and refresh at some point..
Best of luck to you both,
Ian
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I am so very sorry to hear this. I wish you strength and offer my thoughts and prayers. As others have said keep something to work on. Even if you do 5 minutes every few days it is a time out and a "me" moment. It will make things less difficult to have that time. I wish you and your wife all the best.
James
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You and your wife are in my family's thoughts and prayers.
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So Sorry to hear of this, our prayers for you and your wife.
Ed
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Stefan,
I would very much like to repeat what has been written here several times and without going into details, I too write as a carer, one who looks after a relative in another country and to whom I speak on the telephone several times every day. The nature of the illness means that sometimes those conversations are not easy. Frequent visits mean much travelling which adds to the overall stress.
I started modelling again when I realised that I could not cope without some form of distraction, and compensation for the strain of constant giving. Nobody has unlimited energy or patience, we are all human and have our limits. It can be very difficult to say that I need time for me too, but I have learned the hard way that I have to. The biggest mistake that you could make would be to become a casualty too, simply because your heart is in the right place. I know how very difficult this position can be, and I know too, unfortunately, what can happen if we do not protect ourselves. I ask for the sake of you and your beloved wife that you keep some time for modelling as well as this forum, and that you set some time aside on a regular basis for YOU, because you need it. You owe it equally to yourself and your wife and although this may read as a contradiction, you will both be the better for it.
My thoughts are with you both and I hope that together you can still find joy and happiness despite your multiple problems.
Stephen.
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Friends,
thank you for your very warm comments, thoughts and prayers. Thank you, indeed. I do have enough stalled projects to complete (anyone remember the W.12 with the ducklings?) for the next dozen years. I will only offer kits I won't be able to start at all.
S.
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I'm terribly sorry to learn of Ulrike's condition and pray for her full and speedy recovery. Your priorities are in the right place, my friend, but I'm certain that at some point, she want you to stop fussing over her and to do something. Modeling can be wonderful therapy.
Please give my warmest regards to your darling bride.
Cheers,
Bud
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Stefan, ich wünsche Euch beiden nur das Allerbeste - mehr bleibt mir nicht zu sagen. :-\
I wish you both the very best - I can not say more.
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This is very sad, Stefan and I hope you and Ulrike can maintain a good spirit through this (as Jamo said - Kia Kaha!). Each has to be strong for the other and if some modelling - clearly one of your other passions - can be inserted now and then into your life then it is good for you and your morale. Don't give it up entirely.
Very best wishes,
GrahamB
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My most sincere well wishes Stefan. Take care of your co-pilot, but do remember to take care of yourself as well. Healing thoughts and prayers coming your way.
Jimbo
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Stefan,
I can only add my voice to what the others have said here. While your priority is your wife, I think you do have to keep a small part of yourself in some way.
Best of luck.
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May God bless you and your wife Stephan.
Eric
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Gar keine Beendenung, ganz im gegenteil, ein Anfang!
Pick a German plane from your stash, do it up in bright, colorful fictitious markings, with "Ulrike!" painted on the fuselage, and tell your lovely wife about Udet's LO! (if she doesn't already know). This way, any time you spend building the model, is time you spend WITH Ulrike, not AWAY from her, and as Borsos, Russell, Lance, Lonemodeler, and others have pointed out, being a long-term sole care-giver will be a drain on your morale. Your wife needs you HAPPY not RESENTFUL!
By the way, MY wife suggested this. She's a psychotherapist whose specialty is trauma therapy.
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Rob,
Thank you for proposing this - I already have a model named after my wife in our collection. the very last Panther tank ever to be built survived WW2 and severe testing with the British forces afterwards. It then came to Bovington, later to be given to the WTS in Koblenz, Germany. That Panther is named Ulrike, and of course I had to build it.
That was in 2006, a long time ago.
S.
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Dear Stephan,
Please post the picture of the Panther you built to share with us all.
Ed
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That is all very sad news, Stefan. My heartfelt sympathy. Please do what you can for your wife, that is important. But don't forget your hobby and modelling buddies. You never know. Regards, Marc
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Stefan,
Truly sad news and you have my thoughts and prayers for your wife and for you! I hope you manage to stick around and comment here from time to time. Like others have said everyone needs a release from the daily stress.
RAGIII